


No Matter How Many Times

by shinkonokokoro



Category: The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Gen, Suicidal Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-06
Packaged: 2017-11-07 00:44:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinkonokokoro/pseuds/shinkonokokoro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not the first time Steve's told Tony. And, sadly, wouldn't be the last. But he can only keep trying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Matter How Many Times

**Author's Note:**

> So shamelessly inspired by this beautiful art:  
>   
> Originally posted [here](http://thestarkandstripes.tumblr.com/post/24510824256/the-stark-and-stripes-comic-4-ill-catch).

_ When Steve found him, Tony had two of his worst weapons in his hands: a glass of scotch, and a gun. He looked less like a man and more a wilted thing once human. But that was a distinction that he would make later, when reviewing the memory. _

_ Now was a time for action, so he shuffled towards him on silent feet, the cold (always the cold) seeping through his bare skin and freezing his heart in his throat. "Tony." _

_ Tony looked up from his contemplation of the gun, swaying slightly. His face was pale, sweat gathered at his hairline and above his lip. "Cap." The word was tired. Like he was disappointed at being discovered. Like he hadn't wanted someone to find him at all. Like he would have rather someone found his expired body slumped against the wall, drink in one hand, gun in the other. _

_ "Tony, what are you doing?" _

_ Tony's gaze never wavered, for all that his body did. Trembles shook the drink in his glass, the amber liquid promising poison and mistakes. _

_ "Tony, listen to me," he said softly, moving slowly closer. _

_ Tony snorted. "No need to treat me like a wild animal, Cap. You can approach. M'not going to fire at you. Would never..." he mumbled. "Just me. Always me." _

_ "Why? Can you tell me why?" he asked while his heart broke and he swallowed it down. _

_ With a self-deprecating grin, Tony waved the glass around, tossing back a sip. "Nope. Never could put it into words that you'd understand. Sorry." _

"Fuck your apologies!" he said fiercely, grabbing Tony's hand that held the gun and slamming it to the wall.

_ Tony blinked at him, a slow measure of surprise easing through and out of his features. The gun clattered to the floor. One of them winced. It wasn't Tony. _

_ Steve bit back the furious curses, inching into the man's space. "You can't do this, Tony." But Tony wasn't looking at him anymore. He'd sighed and sagged like a deflated balloon, his knees bumped Steve's as the tension in them eased. Before long it was only Steve's closeness, his hand around Tony's wrist, the friction between Tony and the wall, and Steve's other arm across his chest that was holding him up. He didn't flinch this time when the glass slipped from Tony's slackening fingers and shattered next to their feet. _

_ "Tony..." he tried again, gently. "Will you look at me?" Waited a moment. "Please?" _

_ When that didn't work, he brought his arm up and curled his fingers into the sweaty hair at the nape of Tony's neck. "C'mon..." Tugged gently so Tony would be forced to look at him. It still didn't work. Tony just stared blankly downwards. _

Steve sighed. "No matter how many times... I'll tell you. Always. You're  not  alone. " Dropping his forehead against Tony's, he sighed again. "I just wish you'd listen."

 


End file.
